A quick thought...

People keep asking why I'm going to RenFest practically every weekend.

The shows don't really change, the people don't really change, and it costs money... so why?


It's been a habit for so many years, I haven't really spent too much time thinking about it - that's where the majority of my expendable income goes. And today, it hit me why it's so important to me.

Faire feeds my creative spirit. Costuming, jewelry, general craftiness. Whenever I'm around the people I love, who spend their time doing the things they love, the more I'm able to tap into my own spirit. After spending months without even the least interest in creating, it's a refreshing and joyous change to be able to go at a project with gusto.

So I'll keep going to Faire and soak up that spirit and the precious time with my Faire family as best I can.

A quick vent

"A catcall is entirely about reminding you that you are not yours."

This quote right here beautifully explains why I *hate* being catcalled. I've expressed my irritation at the occurrence in the past, and people (mostly guys) have tried to calm me in the past by offering several of these 'soothing' statements; 

"It's just a compliment." 

"Don't be so bothered by it - it's not like it really affects you directly." 

"Let them think what they want - it's not like they're actually molesting you." 

"Why are you so uptight about it??"

"You should be flattered - it's good that someone finds you attractive, right?"

The problem with catcalling is men (and women)* assuming that it's alright to loudly and unabashedly say that someone's body is sexually attractive in their opinion. 

It doesn't matter how it's intended, it's objectifying someone. It's letting me know that my body has passed through their judgment, and that it's something that they would possess or use. 

I don't care if you appreciate me - that's entirely up to you - just realize that the way in which you are "appreciating" is demeaning. It's informing me, and everyone else in the vicinity, of your right to judge and belittle me, even though you may choose to 'appreciate' me in this case. 

Catcalling is your method of informing the immediate population that your judgment is superior to mine, and that you have a right over me.

Your hooting, whistling, and rather vulgar descriptions of how you would like to treat me, are for your own gratification - not mine. You want to assert yourself - I want nothing more than to go about my day. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing or how I'm carrying myself - I am not looking for the attention of a stranger, so keep it to yourself. Catcalling a woman in scrubs is just as bad as catcalling a scantily clad lady - neither one deserves your derision nor condescension.** 

It's not flattering. It's not attractive. It doesn't give me a sense of self-worth or satisfaction. It certainly doesn't make me think of you as a more likely partner.

Catcalling reminds me that my own self-image is worthless compared to that of the [wo]man throwing their opinion out into the streets. I am, in myself, nothing - just a body to be looked at, evaluated, and used. Your ego is edified, and my value is stripped away.

If you are just seeking your own edification, and would like to tear someone down, then catcalling is probably the best way to go about your business.

If, however, you would like to actually appreciate someone (woman or man), do not fret! There are lots of avenues to do so.

Give a [wo]man a flower. Give him/her a quiet compliment. Pay for their bus ticket or lunch anonymously. Hold the door (which, honestly, you should do regardless). If it's someone you know, spend time with them and appreciate the person. If it's someone you don't know, just give them a smile. 

They may not return the smile or favor, but you will have passed it along and brightened someone's day. 

Stop making appreciation about yourself, and make it about someone else.

* I say men and women, simply because I've experience both - but the overwhelming majority (all but two) have been men. ** And I said scrubs or scantily clad, because I've been catcalled in scrubs before - actually, the more modestly I dress, the more I've been catcalled, for whatever reason.

The original quote was pulled from this article, which is a very good read, in itself:

http://jezebel.com/female-purity-is-bullshit-493278191

A sweet song to remember

I have a soft spot in my heart for Arya and Gendry (Game of Thrones) - here's a song that was rather obviously written for them, but sung as an aside while they were horsing around:

My feather bed is deep and soft,

and there I'll lay you down,

I'll dress you all in yellow silk,

and on your head a crown.

For you shall be my lady love,

and I shall be your lord.

I'll always keep you warm and safe, 

and guard you with my sword.

And how she smiled and how she laughed, 

the maiden of the tree.

She spun away and said to him,

no featherbed for me.

I'll wear a gown of golden leaves,

and bind my hair with grass,

but you can be my forest love,

and me your forest lass.

Tom Sevenstrings, A Storm of Swords

<3