The above quote was uttered by a hero of mine, Joss Whedon. The man has masterminded several shows and stories that continue to stick with me and make me question who I am, as well as push me towards who I'd like to be.
Over the past weeks, my mood has been fluctuating pretty wildly - from a passive nothingness, to elation, to complete disbelief and dejection at the choices I've made, flinging myself so far away from my family and friends. Though I've had countless opportunities to cross the world and see wonders that many people will never even be able to imagine, I've never taken a journey of this magnitude without my family by my side - that has made the transition more difficult than I expected. Well, maybe not more difficult than expected, but certainly not the most comfortable experience. (So far, I've had pretty consistent access to internet, meaning that my family and friends aren't so far away. But who knows if that will change when I move to my site!)
In addition to my homesickness (just a testament to how awesome my F&F are), training has been a trip. The preparation for service is incredibly rigorous, but when adding in the 24/7 living in a new culture with new expectations and norms to adjust to, I've never been so tired in my life. I'm delighted that I've found myself able to rise to the challenge for the most part, but at the halfway point, I feel both like I've been here for mere moments and for many years. The stress and constant barrage of information makes time slip past, but the ever increasing levels of lessons and the amount of growth demanded makes me feel like I've aged a decade.
A comment that I've heard over the past few days is that, despite adversity, I've "got a really good attitude about this." At first I ignored it, but I've heard it from four distinct people about distinct situations. How I've ended up with a better attitude than others is beyond me.
Sure it's easy to become frustrated, to complain and rail about perceived inefficiencies and problems with the situation or with people I encounter - but why bother? Why not jump onto the problem and address it? Challenges present themselves to see if we will rise to the occasion. I am a champ at whinging, but I want to be the champion of overcoming obstacles, and that's why I put my effort into making the best of situations.
I'm certainly not always able to achieve it - heck, compared to the Sunshine that left the states in May, I feel like Puddleglum here. But I am driven to continue forward, to be cheerful in spite of myself, and that is what will make the difference. Fortunately, I'm a naturally contrary person - so when I'm told that I must be stressed, unhappy, discontent, outraged, or overwhelmed, I take it as a personal challenge to prove you wrong. And in so doing, my act of rebellion is a splash of joy.
So come hither adversity, challenges, and rainy Mondays - bring your discontent, disorganization, and disarray. To those of you who won't change your minds, feel free to swim about in the unhappy soup - wallow in it, and let your fingers get all pruney.
I prefer the challenge of joy - the constant work to shine a little brighter than the day before - to be a little warmer when the people around you are chilly. Mirth and peace are outrageously hard to achieve, but since the world is telling me I can't get there, I guess it's time to prove the world wrong.
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