Just a pointless note to myself today.
Over the past year and a half, I've undergone some relatively significant personality shifts - most of these is thanks to my experiences at DramaTech.
While trying to find my bearing throughout the year (I look back on it with a wistful sense of longing now - at the time I wanted nothing more than for the year to be done, I assure you), I admit that when it came to working for DT, I fluctuated from completely, irresponsibly diffident to overbearingly assertive.
Many of these moments in time are crystal clear to me - amazing for my own growth and learning, but I feel bad for anyone who was around me.
Over the course of the year, through a lot of work and inward-reflection, I became more confident in my role as president, and did my best to fulfill my duties as well as I was able. Who knows how well that *actually* turned out - all that matters for now is that I am content with my efforts.
ANYway - towards the end of the year, as I was beginning to become reflective about my time as president, I sought out some reflections on how I'd developed/was seen as a person. A report I received from a friend (in the best of intentions and remarkable honesty) painted me as having become horrifically self-assured and arrogant at times, which rocked my little world.
It ticked me off, and then set me on the road to avoid ever being described that way again.
Admittedly, I haven't been great about fixing the issue with the friends that I've needed to the most (primarily because A. I'm really, really bad at that, and B. because I no longer really spend time with any of them). I'd like to think that I've progressed to some degree, though.
The amusing bend in my tale, however, came today.
I was digging through my desk, clearing out papers and trying to sort out the mess that has accumulated there over the past two years. Among a pile of random papers, I found a long prescription paper from my counsellor.
Note: I haven't ever really made a big deal about having gone to see a therapist. The biggest deal was[is] me getting over myself and my pride, in order to walk in the door and admit I needed[need] help. There was a lot of depression going on towards the beginning of the school year, as well as some home-issues that I don't want to go into. That's really all it boils down to for the purposes of this post.
I glanced through the case-note to see if there was anything relevant enough for me to keep it, and I was highly amused by what I saw.
Apparently, over the course of me seeing my psychological advisor (challenge the phrasing - I dare you), he decided that I had some emotional issues to work out (obviously), as well as needing... Assertiveness ... Assertiveness. [No kidding, it's written twice]
Commence Melinda's raucous laughter.
I've gotten rid of everything but the prescription, primarily because I'll be amused by this lesson many years from now.
Too many steps in the right direction can still be the first step in the wrong direction.
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